Of Bathtubs and the Land Octopus

As Ambriel sat in the bathtub getting her hair washed, she turned to me with an interesting theory.

A: I think I know where they got the idea for bathtubs.

Me: Oh really? Where?

A: Well, everyone was getting tired of having to just wash in the lake, cause that's all they had, and they didn't have soap. [thoughtful pause] Or they did have soap, but they didn't have anywhere to put it where it wouldn't all get used up at once, except on land. So they made bathtubs.

Now if I could just get her to tell me who "they" are, we'd be totally ready to contribute to the Wikipedia page on bathtubs...

Bonus story:

One of Ambriel's greatest features is her wild imagination, but like Anne Shirley before her, it can also get her into trouble. Especially on really dark nights when we are leaving a friend's house in the "country" that doesn't have all of the street lights that my little "city" girl is used to.

A: [following a lengthy discussion of why Christians can be killed or hurt but not turned into Zombies or other similar monsters] But what if someone came and TOOK you, Momma? What would happen to me then?

Me: Tell me the exact scenario you're afraid of and I will tell you what would really happen.

A: Okay. So. What if an octopus that lived on the land came up behind you and squeezed you really tightly with all those arms and put you somewhere, like a chair, but with something to hold you there. Because this is a really smart octopus that can think of things like that. And then he tried to turn you into one of him, what would happen then?

Me: [sigh] Well, first of all, an octopus can't live on the land because it wouldn't be able to move or breathe. The closest you could come is a spider, and even the biggest of those wouldn't be able to squeeze me. If you were with me, I would die before I would let anything hurt you, and if that happened, you would just get to live with one of the many people who love you and want what is best for you, and I would be fine because I would be in Heaven and could still watch over you.

A: [smiling tentatively] Alright. And you know, if it happened while we were at our friends' house, I could just stay with them! [smiling excitedly]

Me: [bigger sigh] Yes you could.

My reassurances, sadly, were only convincing until we reached home and she realized Daddy wasn't home and the dog was outside so a giant land octopus could easily be hiding in her closet. Sigh.